This is me..This is real

I’ve been through many days without you..without your news,your call and your messages..It was hurts me actually..but I can’t tell you.I thought maybe you needs time..but, don’t you think 3 years is too long? I keep waiting for you actually..but, what should I do? Everything that I do is reasonable for us..I just hope one day there will be someone could talk to you about me, about what actually I’ve been through, about what did I do for you..I just hope there will be someone.
My life is already in colour. It’s all actually happen when I started to know you. I also keep on thinking..what actually have you done to me until I still cannot forget you..and it’s until now..Before this,I keep on asking you..could you accept me back to your life? I know that you still love me..so, do I..But, after all this..I cannot accept you anymore in my life..my life is just like counting the days of exam…the exam that will come..it same to me..i’m counting the days of my heart operation that will come..I let you go because I love you so much..there will be sometimes I keep on imagine that I will lay down on the hospital bed..and you will be there on my side crying by looking at my condition..I‘m not strong enough to see you cry..i’m really sorry..I also not strong enough to reply your strong love..because my love (heart) for you is too weak..i’m really sorry..it’s all my fault..really sorry..

U know what..I just hope one day you will read this notebook..-_-